Chapter-10

-- The Great MacFin --
(An English Crumpet Western)

ACT I

$SCENE III
[A clearing near the Forest, again]

[Sound of Thunder and enter those three Old Cowpokes]

First Cowpoke:
Whar hast thou been ?

Second Cowpoke:
Brand'un cows, what else?

Third Cowpoke:
And you, Pete, whar'd ya go?

First Cowpoke
Well ... the farmer's wife had chestnuts in her lap, And I munch'd, and munch'd, and munch'd

"Give me, more' quoth I ..."

"Hold thee still, Cowboy!' that rump-wide she-cat cried.

[Pete looks up and sees the other cowboys looking alarmed]

But not to worry ... Her husband's to town, had gone, And me, like a rat without a tail, Well ... I'll do, I'll do, and whatever ... I'll do.

Second Cowpoke
Do you need help?

First Cowpoke
Thou'rt kind.

Third Cowpoke
And I another.

First Cowpoke
Here! I have only, left, this near empty jug Wrecked of it's contents ...

[He raps the empty-jug twice]

Second Cowpoke
A drum, a drum!

Third Cowpoke
The Great MacFin doth come.

ALL
We weird cowpokes, hand in hand- Posters of this holy land, Thus do go aboot, aboot: Thrice to thine and thrice to mine And thrice again, to make up nine.

Peace! Yow-ee! These cowpokes' r' a'sure wound up.

[Enter MacFin and Langstorm into the camp]

MacFin
So foul and fair a day I have not seen.

Langstorm
How far is't to the Main Ranch?

[He Looks about and suddenly He sees the three wierd cowpokes]

Wo! ... What are these creatures so wither'd ... so wild in their attire, That look not unlike they crawled out o' the earth, havn' bin in it?

Live you? ...

... or have you words That man may question?

You seem to understand me.

[Then each at once, with their chappy fingers, laid aside their ruby lips and poked up their ruddy  nose]

Langstorm
You could be women, perhaps ... And yet your beards forbid me to interpret That you be so.

MacFin
Speak, if you can: what are you?

First Cowpoke
Eh, MacFin! Eh-h, foreman of the high North Fork range!

Second Cowpoke
Eh, MacFin, Eh-h-h-h, forman of the low South Fork range!

Third Cowpoke
Eh, MacFin, thou shalt be Owner hereafter!

Langstorm
Good cowboys, what are you saying? You seem to fear, things that do sound, to me, so fair?

In the name of truth, Are ye spooks, and can indeed greet us with great predictions?

Can ye look into the seeds of time, And say which grain will grow ... and which will not?

Speak then to me. I neither begs nor fear's Your favours ... nor your hates.

First Cowpoke
Eh !

Second Cowpoke
Eh-h !

Third Cowpoke
Eh-h-h-h !

First Cowpoke
Thou shalt beget Owners, MacFin

Second Cowpoke
though thou be none

Third Cowpoke
So Eh-h-h-h! MacFin and Langstorm!

First Cowpoke
Langstorm and MacFin, Eh-h-h-h!

MacFin
Hold it, spooks! Tell me more: By the former foreman's death I know I still run the North Fork spread; But how 'bout the Owner's lower South Fork ? I know the foreman of the South Fork is alive and well. He's still one good ol' boy.

But to be Owner of the whole "Kit-n-Caboodle"... now don't that beat all!

I want no more than to be foreman of m'own spread, someday.

Now just whar did you dig these spooky ideas up ? and why-upon this blasted trail- did you stop us with such-a cock-n-bull story?

Speak, I charge you.

[Suddenly, these three strange Cowpokes-all, Git Out]

Langstorm
Wo! ... what has happened?

Whar'd they git?

MacFin
P-f-f-s-t ... into the air, I guess;

and what I thought I saw ... I only saw as breath, into the wind.

Langstorm
I wish I had said that!

Are such spooky things still here ... even as we do speak?

Or are we, perhaps ... drunk?

Maybe ... or both one-sandwich-short of a picnic?

MacFin [reflecting]
Hmm ... Your children shall be Owners, Langstorm?

Langstorm
... and You shall be Owner, MacFin?

MacFin
I don't git it! ... and yet foreman of the South Fork too. now, didn't they say that also ?

Langstorm
That's the story I heard.

[a noise]

Who's here?

[Enter ROSS and ANGUS]

ROSS
The Owner hath heard all 'bout, The news and success of The Great MacFin,

and each time he hears aboot the farmers' fight, Thy wonderments and thy praises are so great as to leave him speechless.

He knows that thee were mucking it up within the stout farmer's ranks, and Not a'feard of what thyself didst make,

When as thick as hail stones, thy pistol bullets Came quickly to post many strange images of death. ... and every one did bear Thy praises in his Ranches' greatest defence.

And many more stories ... they pour'd down before the Owner.

ANGUS
We are sent to give thee-from our Boss-much thanks;

and to pay thee partial payment... as a sample of greater honor yet to come.

ROSS
So, as only earnest to this greater honour, He ask me, from him, to call thee, "Foreman of the South Fork,"

... and so I say, "Hail, most worthy Foreman!" For it be yours.

Langstorm
Geez ... can those spooks speak true?

MacFin
I don't get it ... Is not the foreman of the South Fork Ranch, alive ? Why do you address me with his borrow'd title?

ANGUS
It were True, while that foreman lived; But now a heavy judgment has bear'd that life away-- and which he deserves to lose.

For whether he only helped the farmers, or fought with the farmers, or gave hidden help and advantage ... or all!

Whatever, He labour'd in the farmer's wreck; His treasons were capital. He confess'd and merited the death penalty.

MacFin [Aside]
Hmmm, both the North Fork, and now foreman of the South Fork Ranch ... they said! That's even better.

[To ROSS and ANGUS]

Thanks for your pains to come here.

[Aside To Langstorm]

Do you not hope your children shall be Owners, When those that gave the job of Foreman of the South Fork Ranch to me, He promised no less to them?

Langstorm [Aside to MacFin]
Hold a bit! ... There must be a catch; If'n you might hope to be both Owner, and the Foreman of the South Ranch.

Be careful, Off'times we fool ourselves, When the words of darkness tell us pleasing-truths, that we don't understand

... its then-we'll get our ass shot off.

MacFin [Aside]
But Those first predictions were spoken, fair, by *both* the spooks and now again by the Owner's men, so they must be happy prologues to the Owner's theme.

--I thank ye, Cowboys.

[Aside] Can the words of the spooks be all that bad? They both said it true, "I *am* foreman of the South Ranch."

... but If this is true, why does me hair stand up And make m'seated heart knock 'gainst m'ribs?

Wharz is the evidence? Or is this just a fantasy and exists only in m'mind?

nothing *is* But what is not.

Langstorm
I wish I had said that!

MacFin
If chance will have me Foreman, why not, then, chance to have me Owner ... Without m'help.

Langstorm
Yes, but Think twice ... You might not like it when you have been both Foreman and Owner of the whole ranch for a while.

MacFin [Aside]

Well, Such is life ... It seems that the Time and the Hour may be here, for me, Langstorm

Langstorm
It's your deal, MacFin, we'll wait for you.

MacFin
I'll remember what you have said, here.

But now let's git back to the Main ranch.

We'll talk aboot this, later

Langstorm
Yo,

MacFin
Till then, G'bye.

Come, my friends.

[They All Git Out]

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