Chapter-22

-- The Great MacFin --
(An English Crumpet Western)

ACT IV

$SCENE III
[in front of the Owner's main ranch house]

[Enter Arthur and Horace]

Arthur
Let's find a shade tree and there. We can talk aboot this sad situation.

Horace
I would much rather take m'six-shooter, and like real men, fight to protect m'land, which has been beaten to it's knees by MacFin.

As each new morn breaks, New widows howl, new orphans cry, and new sorrows Strikes out across the heavens.

Arthur
What I know, I know and believe that I will bring vengence down on this tyrant, whose name blisters our tongues. We once thought him brave and honest and even, you ... well ... you loved even best.

Horace
Yes, but I am not treacherous.

Arthur
But MacFin is. I do understand that-in your honest loyality to this new Owner- you wanted to avoid his displeasure Never-the-less, an evil man may simulate the appearance of virtue ...

but not visa versa ... there is no other way for virtue to look.

You must excuse me, my suspicions cannot harm you nor can I change what you are.

Horace
and I have lost hope.

Arthur
Perhaps ... but Can you tell me Why you left you wife and child, in Those precious moments, your strong knot of love, should have held you there?

You didn't even tell them you were going? Why?

I don't mean to be impolite and you might have been right- but for my own safety, I have to know.

Horace
My poor land is Bleeding!

I am not the bad-guy, here ... but is that you think?

Remember all of this land is within MacFin's grasp. What is next?

Arthur
I said, "Don't Be offended," I want to hear your story.

I know our country is sinking beneath his yoke; It weeps, it bleeds; and each new day a new gash Is added to her wounds.

But you should know that There are many hands ready to git our lands back. In fact, I now have several hundred good men: farmers, shepherders, Indians ... but the question is ... When!

When shall I step on MacFin's head, and wear his scalp on m'belt!

Until we move, this land will never have more problems than we have now, and it has never suffered worse than now, By MacFin.

Horace
What can you do?

Arthur
Before we go on, I want you to know something. I know myself and I know what I can do and if it comes to an open fight ... well ... Even that black MacFin Will seem as pure snow.

Most Everyone thinks I'm like a lamb, but compared to me MacFin is harmless.

Horace
Not in the deeper depths Of horrid hell can come a devil more damn'd In evils than I am!

Arthur
Sure he's bloody, Luxurious, arbitrary, false, deceitful, malicious, and smacking of every sin That has a name ... but in me ... well there's no bottom, Man.

Your wives, your daughters, Your sisters could not fill up The cistern of my lust, and my desire. nothing can stop me when I git that way!

Tis Better that MacFin Than I, should be the Owner of the Midnight Ranch!

Horace
Of course ... Boundless energy and ambition is a tyranny that falls on many Owners. But you have a right to take what is yours:

You may have willing women enough: but you are not vulture enough to devour all those that will be with you against, MacFin.

Arthur
You still don't understand, do you? Let's talk greed. Were I the Owner, I would fence off all other Owners from their lands, I would dam their water and take their money and this or that house: as I choose And the more I took, the more I would want. There would be no stopping me. I would quarrels with the good and with bad, 'til I Destroyed their wealth. It don't make no never mind, to me.

Horace
Oh, ho. I think this greedness is a little too quick to be real.

Don't worry, Ol'Bud, the Midnight Ranch alone has plenty of wealth to fill your ambitions. But You must balance your vices against your virtues to git it back.

Arthur
But I'm telling you that I don't *have* virtues that you would expect of an good Owner...or a man. I mean: justice, truthfulness, patience, stableness, perseverance, mercy, humbleness, Devotion, courage, bravery ... well ... I don't *even* want these virtues.

On the other hand, I rather want The virtues of crime and passion.

Nah, had I rich power, I would Pour the sweet milk of the grape into my gullet, and be rais'un Hell everywhar I went across the countryside.

Horace
But the Midnight Ranch, Man, ... The Ranch!

Arthur
I have no idea how to manage this Ranch: I really am who I said I was.

Horace
Fit to Manage, Hah! It is MacFin who is not even fit to live. He has made the folk around here, miserable, He doesn't even rightly own the Ranch. He's only a big mouth with a bloody-six shooter in his hand.

When shall we see happy days, again?

He is incapable of managing his own life much less the the Midnight Ranch. He can't even punch cows anymore.

Now your father was a Saint: and your mother was more often on her knees working, than on her feet, glad-handing every gent that come along.

Your Father knew how hard she worked, and Died a little every day she worked like this.

Well ... If you are who you say you are ... Damn it! Git outta here and Good ridence! All those virtues that you say you don't have, Have banish'd you from your rightful Ranch.

My last hope ends here!

Arthur
Horace, ... m'Boy! what is this noble passion?

You are too good and honest. Did you know that, That Devilish MacFin has tried to git me On his side using these very same tricks ... But I saw threw 'um.

I am like you. Of course, What I said wasn't true. That was not me! I am even yet Unknown to woman, I can never lie and I Scarcely covet what I, myself, own.

I am so loyal that I would probably not betray even The devil, himself to his own devil-ettes. I delight in both truth and this life.

Hah! What I just said ... was the first time I have ever talked like this.

I am truly with you and I am at my poor country's disposal to command. Before you came here, I even got us help from the governor. He talked to a tribe of fight'un Indians who have been put upon by MacFin, and are worse off than we are.

They have agreed to help and we are ready to move together because we know what we will do is right fer us all!

Horace! Now ... Why are you quiet?

Horace
Oh! You words spooked me! It is hard To hear Such welcome and unwelcome things together ...

well... 'Tis hard to reconcile.

[Enter a Doctor]

Arthur
Will the Owner be here?

Doctor
Yes, sir; there are many people who wait for the Great MacFin cure they are convinced that even the touch of his hand will fix'um up despite my medicine's best efforts.

They wait.

Arthur
Thanks, doc.

[Exit Doctor]

Horace
What disease does he means?

Arthur
Oh 'Tis a swelling of the neck: MacFin seems to be able to cure this problem; Which I have seen him do, often, during my stay. He must solicit heaven, itself.

The people that come here are also All swoln and pitiful to the eye, They despair of doctor's surgery, and he can cure. Afterwards, he Hangs a golden stamp aboot their necks, and Says a few holy prayers:

They say it runs in the family.

In addiiton, He has a heavenly gift of prophecy, And other things hang aboot his person, He is said to be full of grace.

[Enter ROSS]

Horace
Look someone is coming, here?

Arthur
It is one of my Ranch Hands; but I don't know him.

Horace
Come in Ol'buddy-Bud. You are welcome.

Arthur
Oh now I see who it is. Good God, how time has past! I had forgotton aboot him!

ROSS
Hi Boys!

Horace
Is the Midnight Ranch still standing whar it did?

ROSS
Well, Yes but ... just barely. Most locals are afraid to even talk aboot it. The ranch use to be our friend, but now it has become our grave.

No one smiles, anymore. All we hear are complaints. and none listens. It has become a living hell All the good folk have left, or are dead or sick.

Horace
What you said is too true!

Arthur
What's the newest grief?

ROSS
Well ... the griefs are a'coming by the hour and by the minute.

Horace
How is m'wife?

ROSS
Why ... well, of course

Horace
And all my children?

ROSS
Well too.

Horace
MacFin has not caused them problems?

ROSS
No; they were well ... and at peace when I left 'em.

Horace
Why are you here?

ROSS
I am here 'cause I heard a rumour -and there are many fellows that have confirmed it- that you are looking for help to git back the Midnight Ranch and oust MacFin. They say you can always use a couple of good hands to git rid of MacFin.

Is this right?

Arthur
Yes. We are hear for that purpose. I have collected a few farmers, sheephearders and some Indians; we are force of many.

ROSS
This is good news. Are you keeping this a secret?

Horace
Yes, but only the details, that is whar and when we strike.

ROSS
Good. All I want to know is the part that affects me, alone.

Horace
Have you heard aboot my family? If so, don't hold back. Let me know, now!.

ROSS
If you know what I'm a'going to say it will break your heart.

Horace
Oh' I could see it on your face.

ROSS
Your ranch was attacked; your wife and babes have been murdered.

Arthur
Merciful heaven! This breaks my heart,

Horace
Say again ... My children too?

ROSS
Yes ... Wife, children, Cowboys, all That could be found.

Horace
...and it had to happen while I was away.

Are you sure ... My wife was kill't, too?

ROSS
Yes ... that I said.

Arthur
This is bad, I know But Let's make plans to git our revenge, This will cure your grief.

Horace
I have no children? Did you say ... All my pretty ones? Did you say all? Oh hell ... ! All? You mean ... both my son and his mother, At one fell swoop?

Arthur
Easy, take it like a man.

Horace
I know I have to do so; But I feel it deeply ... as a man: I can remember how things use to be, and That, most precious to me ...

Didn't even heaven look on, And yet, would not take part?

It is my fault, They were all struck down because of me ... and who I am. Hah ... Not for their own demerits, but for me, alone. They are slaughtered and their souls are in Heaven resting now!

Arthur
Put these avenging bullets in your six-shooter and let grief be Converted to anger; blunt not your heart, but enrage it.

Horace
Oh, I could cry as a women, Or roar like a man! But, we have no time, I just want to be with MacFin and myself, alone; and Within m'pistol in hand; if he 'scapes, Heaven forgive me!

Arthur
Buck up, my friend. We are ready; We lack nothing but to go; MacFin Is ripe for shaking, and all the powers above are watching us and what we do, here.

Cheer up: The night is long that never finds the day.

[They All Git Out]

Previous .. Announcement .. Home .. Next

- 22 -

- - -