Chapter-24

-- The Great MacFin --
(An English Crumpet Western)

ACT V

$SCENE III
[At the Main Ranch House]

[Enter MacFin, Doc, and cowboys]

MacFin
Bring me no more reports; Till this acurrsed army is removed from m'land, I am not fearful. Who is this mere boy, Arthur? He is only human-and born of women?

The spooks that know all predictions have said: 'Fear not, MacFin; no man that's born of woman Shall e'er have power upon thee.'

These farmers, these sheepherders: lets them live lowly in their low lands: By m'mind, and by m'heart I do not doubt m'spooks and so I will not shake with fear.

[Enter a Cowboy]

Watch it you damn devil, stupid lout! Whar'r you going with that goose look?

Cowboy
Boss ... There must be ten thousand--

MacFin
Geese ... you Goose?

Cowboy
farmers, sir.

MacFin
What do you mean, you lily-liver'd coward.

What farmers? What are you talking aboot, you pale piece of crud?

What farmers, whey-face?

Cowboy
The Governor's force, Boss.

MacFin
Git outta here!

[Exit Cowboy]

Oh Jack! -- I am sick at heart, When I see ...

... Jack!

... This fight must cheer me now, or kill me now ... whatever!

I have lived long enough: m'way of life Is burnning out, It is ending like a yellow leaf; And all that which comes of old age, Such As honour, love, obedience, a few friends, Well, I can't expect even this, anymore; but instead, Curses, not loud but deep

... Jack! Whar'r you!

[Enter Jack]

Jack
What is it Boss?

MacFin
What the latest news?

Jack
Just what was reported to you 'bout Arthur.

MacFin
I'll fight till m'bones and m'flesh are hack'd to pieces. Give me m'rifle.

Jack
Its not needed yet.

MacFin
I'll carry it, anyway. Send out for more help; skirr the country side for anyone; Hang those that don't wanna go. Give me m'30-30

How is your patient, Doc?

Doc
Well she's not physically sick, MacFin, As she has troubled in her mind, and this keeps her from her rest.

MacFin
Damn ... Cure her of that. Can't you even fix a mind, of whatever is bothering her?

Perhaps just some pill would do it.

Doc
No ... In this case the patient Must minister to herself.

MacFin
Throw your psychology to the dogs; I'll none of it. Whar's m'30-06; give me m'box of bullets ...

... Jack, send out to MacDonald's for burgers.

Look Doc, I'm in whol-lot of trouble. Git this overwith as soon as possible. If you can Doc, fix 'er up, find her disease, And get the ol' girl back to sound and pristine health, I would be much 'obliged, If you would try something--and can Pull't off.-- It don't make no matter what- pill, or herb, or whiskey-, will do it?

Do you hear me?

Doc
Ok MacFin; your the Boss I hear you!

MacFin
Let me know what happens.

I am not afraid of death or hardship, Till we beat these dirty dirt farmers once and for all.

Doc [Aside]
... and I wish I could just beat it outta here! I'm not going to do any good by staying around.

[They All Git Out]


 

-- The Great MacFin --
(An English Crumpet Western)

ACT V

$SCENE IV
[In the Forest just outside of the Main Ranch]

[Drum and colours. Enter Arthur, McFlabs and YOUNG McFlabs, Horace, Larry, John, His other brother, John, McRiffkin, ROSS, and cowpokes, marching]

Arthur
Boys, we are 'bout ready are your chambers full of bullets.

Larry
You bet.

McFlabs
Whar'r the trees ... bushes?

Larry
We cut them last night.

Arthur
Tell every hand to grab a branch or bush And hide behind it so MacFin's lookouts can't know how many hands we have. We wanna surprise him.

cowpokes It shall be done.

McFlabs
We want MacFin to be over confident and stay on his ranch and not run away. He won't know what hit him.

Arthur
He thinks he has all the advantages, men, supplies ...

He doesn't realise that his men have lost heart and they will soon disapper from his ranks when the fight'un starts.

Horace
If we have have figured him out then, we got him ... good!

McFlabs
Well ... the time is here and what we have decided to do now it's time to do it.

From now on it don't make no mind. Just make sure that we git it done the way we planned it.

[They All Git Out, marching]

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