Chapter12

-- The Great MacFin --
(An English Crumpet Western)

ACT I

$SCENE V
[The North Fork Ranch-MacFin's Ranch House]

[Enter LADY MacFin, reading a letter]

LADY MacFin [reading]

" ... then I met these three spooks right after we fought and beat Ol'Cowfish's boys. They musta been able to see the future cause they a'told me things that no one ... and I mean no-o-o one ... could'a known.

When they were through a'talk'un they just up and disappeared-- sort-a like make'un themselves into air.

Well, Thar I stood in awonderment and aboot this time a couple of the Owner's hands showed up.

Imagine this--they called me, 'Foreman of the South Ranch'; which is just what those three ol' spooks had called me.

On top of that, they also said that I was a'gonna be Owner, to boot.

I figured this would make you happy, wife, and give you something great to look forward to. Sorta like winning Sweepstake, Eh?"

 

Oh M'God! What has MacFin got himself into, this time? He too full O' simpleness to be Owner; He might be a "wanna be" but he doesn't have a clue to what it takes to run the whole she-e-bang!

He has no ambition ... and He has no idea how to run a business like this.

Ok ... so he can punch cows but he don't know nuth'un 'bout mak'un deals with the Banker or even with other Owners.

He'll get himself into hot water, for sure.

I guess it's a'gonna be up to me to make sure this all happens and things git done, right. I'm a'gonna have to be in his ear all the time 'cause those spooks ain't gonna help him, now.

[Enter a Messenger]

What do you want?

Messenger
The Owner comes here to-night.

LADY MacFin
*What!* Whar'd you her this?

Is MacFin with him? If he were, then he'd have told me to git ready.

Messenger
Excuse me, Ma'm ... it is true: our Foreman is coming:

One of our cowhands seen him a'com'un over the hill then beat it over here and told me first. He was plumb outta breath and aboot died git'un here and was barely able to tell me.

LADY MacFin
Well ... take care of him; He brings a great news.

[Exit Messenger]

What a chance! Imagine the Owner, here ... in m'house What dum luck!

I think I need a "bracer" ... to do what I have to do!

[quietly, to herself]

Make it a double!

Ok ... now, I can't back down. I know what I gotta do-so lets git a go'un.

Hmmm ... Should I use a pistol or a knife?

Noth'un a'gonna stop me now!

[Enter MacFin]

Hi sweetie!

I got you letter and ... Wow! ... what a future we have!

MacFin
M'dearest love, The Owner's a'comm'un here to-night.

LADY MacFin
When will he be here?

MacFin
Soon, as he purposes.

LADY MacFin
Well, he'll never see morrow!

Listen M'Sweetie--m'Ol'Cowboy Hunk, you're gonna have to play it dum. You can't look like someth'un up.

Just be cool and beguile the time, Be 'appy ... but watch your hand and your tongue. look like an innocent lil'rabbit, But be a rattler after it.

We'll take care of that lil' ol' Owner ... won't we? In the meantime, "talk a little cows ... ... a little business-now and then. You know ... 'til he goes to bed.

... Comes the following morning ... we shall be masters of the whole Ranch

... but only when "it" is accomplished

MacFin
We will speak further of this.

LADY MacFin
Ok, but now-be cool; If you look worried, he'll wise up.: Leave all the rest to me.

[They All Git Out]

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