Chapter-13

-- The Great MacFin --
(An English Crumpet Western)

ACT I

$SCENE VI
[Before MacFin's Ranch House]

[Enter Owner, Arthur, Langstorm, McRiffkin, Horace, ROSS, and other cowhands]

Owner
This part of m'ranch hath a pleasant scent; the air's Cool and sweetly recommends itself Unto our gentle senses.

Langstorm
I have always liked coming here in the summer.

This high mountain air is like heaven's breath. The pine trees smells wooingly wondeful here and even birds find it difficult to fly. As I have observed, this air is most delicate.

[Enter LADY MacFin]

Owner
Look! see here's our honour'd hostess! Amazing! Dispite the trouble, she always seems grateful for our visits.

LADY MacFin
We are at your service, Sir. Every point, to make your stay more comfortable, has been twice done and then done double.

Owner
Thank you M'am, Whar's that Ol'Foreman of the South Fork Ranch? We followed him at his heels, but he rides too well;

I think his great love for you, and sharp spur, has got Him to his home before us- So We are a'gonna be your guest t'night.

LADY MacFin
And we are Your cowboys, as always.

Owner
Give me your hand; Take me to The Great MacFin: we love him highly, and There we shall continue our talk with him. By your leave, hostess.

[They All Git Out]

 

-- The Great MacFin --
(An English Crumpet Western)

ACT I

$SCENE VII
[Supper, that night at MacFin's Ranch House]


[cooks helpers with dishes and service, and pass over the stage. Then enter MacFin]

 

MacFin [mumbling to himself]
If were a'gonna do it ... then we'd better do it good and get it over with before we git cold feet.

The Owners death might be the be-e-all and end-all, But right here and now I don't care what even heaven thinks ... it's what I'm a'gonna be a think'un after the bloody deed is done ... and this might do me under.

The Ol'Boss trusted me fer two reasons; I r'both his trusted friend ... and he pays me good wages.

Besides, he is now a guest in m'house only because it was I who fought and beat back those dirt farmers, for him and his kin. I would be a rat if'n now I bear'd the knife, myself.

This Owner Hath always been fair to me and all folks around here; So that if I kill't him, I fear that his public virtues would sing like an angel's trumpet that'l blow this horrid deed into every eye ... and then their tears shall drown me in the wind.

... and you know, I don't have no reason to become Owner m'self ... sumpt'un I never ever wanted, in the first place.

[Enter LADY MacFin]

How now! what news?

LADY MacFin
He has almost supp'd: why have you left the table?

MacFin
Well ... has he ask'd for me?

LADY MacFin
Of course he has!

MacFin
Well, the deals off ... We will proceed no further in this bloody business: He hath greatlty honour'd me of late; and has seen many Golden opinions aboot me told by all sorts of people. I think He'll remember me fer a long, long time.

LADY MacFin
O'MacFin, When did you lose it? Don't you remember that the bloody plan was yours? Have you forgotton?

Have you lost your stomach? You do look a mite green and pale. ... or art thou afeard to do it yourself? Put your money whar your mouth was when you thought it 'twere good idea.

If not, do you want to live like a coward, First you said you would ... now you'r a'say-un, 'I dare not' Yer Like a po-cat not wanting to catch fish because it might git it's feet wet.

MacFin
Quiet! ... wife I dare all that any man can do; and Who dares less is not a match-as a man.

LADY MacFin
Well ... who was the person, then That made you break your word to me? You said you'd do it ... Then, you were a man. And if you did it, you would now, Be so much more the man.

Nothing has changed between then and now You talked bravely before you were faced with the opportunity. Now that you can do it ... ... Why Look! ... your hand is a-shaking!

Ya'all know how tender 'tis to love a babe-child that milks me with his smiling in face ... Well, I swear! I would rather pluck'd myself from his toothless gums, and dash'd his brains, than to so swear falsely, as you Have done.

MacFin
But ... What if we should fail?

LADY MacFin
We fail? Never! Screw up your courage, cowboy, and stick to your words, And then we'll not fail.

When the Owner's a sleep-'member He has had half a day's hard journey-visit him ...

At the same time, I will get his two friends drunk as a two skunks so they won't hear or know what is happening.

Hah! Later we'll blame it on them.

MacFin
I'll say You've got nerve ! I see. While they're asleep we'll use their daggers, So others will be a'think'un, they done it.

LADY MacFin
Of course. Who would think otherwise? ... and then we'll cry our griefs when we hear 'bout his death?

MacFin
Ok. To this I agree, but we'll do it step-by-step, Our false face must hide what the false heart doth know.

[They All Git Out]

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