Chapter-18

-- The Great MacFin --
(An English Crumpet Western)

ACT III

$SCENE IV
[The Hall in the the main ranch house]

[A banquet prepared. Enter MacFin, LADY MacFin, ROSS, McRiffkin, bosss, and cowboys]

MacFin
Pick a seat ... and welcome!

Cowboys
Thanks, MacFin.

MacFin
Take it easy and talk amoung yourselves. In the meantime, I'll play the humble host.

LADY MacFin
Oh Husband, tell my friends that they are welcome for me

[First farmer appears at the door]

MacFin
Well, they feel the same too, Honey. Have a drink and have some fun.

[Approaching the door]

Fool, There's blood upon y're face.

First farmer
'Tis Langstorm's then.

MacFin
It's better you weren't here, ol'Bud.  Bad move!

Is he dead?

First farmer
His throat is cut and I did it.

MacFin
Thou art the best o' the cut-throats: Now, did you do it to Bud?

First farmer
Well Boss ... Bud 'scaped.

MacFin
Oh, Oh! I'm in trouble. It's not going to be a good night.

Is Langstorm, safe?

First farmer
Yes Boss, safe in a ditch! With twenty strikes in his head;

MacFin
Good ... and thanks for that: He was a bad-one.

Now git outta here, 'til tomorrow. I talk to you then.

[Exit farmer]

LADY MacFin
My Husband, You don't seem happy. People are beginning to notice and this party is starting to bomb!

MacFin
Ok Honey, Now, let me git some grub for us both.

McRiffkin
Hey MacFin!, take a chair.

[The GHOST OF Langstorm enters, and sits in MacFin's place]

MacFin
Well we're all here. I wish only, that Langstorm was here. Don't you think it rude of him to be so late?

ROSS
Well he did promised to be here. It is his fault.

MacFin
Why, the table's full!

McRiffkin
No, No ... here is a place for you, Macfin.

MacFin
Whar?

McRiffkin
Here, MacFin. What's wrong?

MacFin
Which of you have done this?

Cowboy
What ... What, MacFin?

MacFin
Don't tell me ... that I did it! Don't blame me!

ROSS
Gentlemen, Hold, something is wrong with The Great MacFin.

LADY MacFin
No, Sit, my friends: my Husband is often under the weather, And has been since his youth: please take your seats; His fit is momentary. He'll be all right.

If you make an issue out of it, You shall offend him and even extend his passion.

Go on and eat as if nothing was wrong.

MacFin
O'yes you be a bold one, that dare look on that Which might even appal the devil.

LADY MacFin
Now calm down. It's all in your mind, MacFin.

It's no different than-that dagger you saw, remember?

It's just a case of nerves, not fear.

Why do you make such faces?

You look like a fool.

MacFin
No! see there! behold! look! lo! What is it? Why? I don't care If you can't nod, then speak to me.

Else Our bones will be thrown to scavenging cats

[GHOST OF Langstorm vanishes]

LADY MacFin
What was it ... a ghost?

MacFin
I swear, as I stand here, I saw him.

LADY MacFin
for shame!

MacFin
In olden times, many murders have happened here, ... and since then too: Murders have been perform'd Too terrible to hear: ... and Even tho men would die, they would rise again, ... And push us from our chairs, Oh how strange murderers-are?

LADY MacFin
O' Husband, Come back to us ... your friends miss you.

[Shakes His Head]

MacFin
Don't laugh at me, m'friends, I'm not feeling well. Those who know me understand. Enjoy!

I'll just sit down, here. Give me some wine.

More!

More!

I drink to you all And to our dear friend Langstorm, whom we dearly miss; but If only he were here ... nothing would be amiss.

And to all, drink! And all ... to all.

Cowboys
Take care, MacFin

[Re-enter GHOST OF Langstorm]

MacFin
Git out! Git outta m'sight! Go back to your grave! Thy bones are marrowless, thy blood is cold; Thou hast no sight in those eyes Which thou dost glare with!

LADY MacFin
Don't worry, good friends, What he is do'un is only natural for his condition.

Only it spoils our pleasure ... and dinner!

MacFin
Cum' here man. I dare you, I don't care who you are, a bear or rhinoceros ... or a tiger

Ya' wanna fight? Then step outside! Mano-a-mano! I've got m'six-shooter and I can use it!

Quit laughing at me!

[GHOST OF Langstorm vanishes]

P-f-f-s-t ... it's gone!

I'm alright!

LADY MacFin
Oh MacFin, You've ruined the party and broke up a good dinner with all your crazyness!

MacFin
Can such things be? Can they quickly come over us like a summer's cloud? How could you stand there and look at it, and still keep the natural ruby of your cheeks, When mine is blanched white with fear.

ROSS
What did you see, MacFin?

LADY MacFin
I pray you, speak not;

[to all]

he grows worse and worse; Questions will only make it worse or will enrage him.

It is time to go, my friends ... good night: Please leave as soon as possible ... But go at once.

McRiffkin
Good night M'Lady; I hope he will feel better

LADY MacFin
A kind good night to you all, Please go!

[They All Git Out all but MacFin and LADY MacFin]

MacFin
*It* will have blood; they say, blood will have blood: Stones have been known to move and even trees to speak; Old predicitions and understood relations have brought forth the secrets of men's blood.

What will happen this night?

LADY MacFin
...and also the morning.

MacFin
Why didn't Horace come to the party? Did We ask him?

LADY MacFin
Did you send for him?

MacFin
Well m'spies have reported he was coming; but I will send a Cowboy over To-morrow.

I will talk to those weird Ol'cowpokes we met on the trail; for I must know what is in store for me ... by any means, any means, for m'own good, Nothing matters: I am so far into it now that I don't want to go any further. It is too much for me. I hear Strange things in m'head; Which I must do, lest the voices git me.

LADY MacFin
You're really tired, git some sleep!

MacFin
Come, we'll both go to a bed and act like the youths who lacks experience of the world

[They All Git Out]

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