-- The Great MacFin --
(An English Crumpet Western)ACT I
SCENE I
At the foot of the steep canyon in a place called, "Midnight."[Thunder and lightning. Enter three weathered old cowpokes]
To be read aloud, dramatically ...
and with a noticeable Scottish "Brogue"
But ... presente', Western Style!
First Cowpoke
When shall we three meet again In thunder, lightning, or in rain?Second Cowpoke
When the Hurly-burly of brand'uns done ... When the cows are all lost ... or we have won.Third Cowpoke
Well ... its a'gonna take all day, anyway.First Cowpoke
whars this yhar place?Second Cowpoke
Midnight, of course .... at the top of this trail.Third Cowpoke
... and thar to speak with The Great MacFin.First Cowpoke
Damn cows r'a-callun!Third Cowpoke
Anon.ALL Fair is foul, and foul is fair: Let's git a go'un, through this fog and filthy air.
[Then They All Git Out]
-- The Great MacFin --(An English Crumpet Western)
ACT I
SCENE II
At a forest camp, near a mountain ranch called, "Midnight"[Voices of alarm within. Enter Owner, his son, Arthur, along with other ranch hands, to meet a bleeding Jake]
Owner
What bloody man is that? He looks terrible, all beat up, look'un like that! Can he still report-of the farmer's revolt?Arthur
This is Ol'Jake, Who like a good and hardy cowpoke fought 'Gainst m'captivity. Right, Ol'buddy? Say to the Owner all you know aboot our fight, When you left it.Jake
Wobbly we stood; As two spent drunks, that do cling together as they drink their art. Then that merciless Farmer Macdonald, a no-a-count, lowdown dirty dirt farmer ... and to that you can add that he smells of sheepy pies.Heh, Heh, ... (cough, cough) ... Well he could'nt take it!
For the brave and Great MacFin--well he deserves that name-- disdaining his own safety, and with his brandish'd six-shooter, Which smoked in bloody execution, Like a wild bull, carved out his passage ... through that revolting crowd Till he faced this Farmer, eye-to-eye
Thar-r-r they stood; quiet-like,
neither moved ... none talked. Then all-a'sudd'un, their pistols flashed and with a volly of fire, The Great MacFin unseam'd him from his nave to his chaps, And then ... (cough)
Then! we fix'd his head upon our fence post.
Heh, Heh ... (cough, cough) ...
Owner
O valiant cowboy! Ol'buddy!Jake
Then next day at noon, when The dry desert dust devils and their thunder storms had stopped, we thought it was all over and we could go to a rest,But no ... again, they come back!
Listen, Owner, listen ... (cough) No sooner had we won and Compell'd these dirty dirt-farmers to turn on thar heels, Then that damn farmer's boss seeing some advantage, and with more pistol's and new supplies of men began a fresh assault on us.
Owner
Didn't this affect Our formen-The Great MacFin ... and Langstorm?Jake
Oh-h-h Yes ... (cough) As the hawk spies a sparrow, or the mountain lion a rabbit I tell you the truth, I must report those two were As pistols overcharged with double powder, so they doubly redoubled their shots upon those farmers: Whether they meant to be bathed in their own reeking wounds .. Or kill't .. I cudna tell.But I 'r faint, the holes in m'body cry for help ... (cough, cough)
Owner
So well thy words become thee ... as do thy holy wounds; They smack of honour-both.Go get him to a doc!
[Jake, attended to ... gits out]
Who comes here?
[Enter Ross]
Arthur
Its your worthy cowboy, Ross ... Boss.McRiffkin
Gawd, look at his eyes. He looks crazy. Listen carefully to what he says.Ross
Gaw-w-w-d save the Owner!Owner
Whar have you been, worthy cowboy?Ross
From the South Fork Ranch, Oh great Boss; whar the farmer's pitch-forks flout thy sky And fans the waters that part your ranch - at the junction of the lower South Fork.Oh m'Gawd! They'd come in terrible numbers, and assisted by that most disloyal traitor - your own foreman of the South Fork Ranch, Cowfish!
He's the one that began this dismal conflict;
Till The Great MacFin, confronted him-in truth, Eye-ball to eye-ball they fought. Pistol against rifle, Rifle against pistol. But The Great MacFin fought like a wild-man and, in the end, The victory fell on us.
Owner
Ya-ho-o-o-o !Ross
But now that Farmer, owes us compensation: We wouldn't let him even bury hisown dead Till he disbursed his crew of farmers and sheepherders and promised ten-thousand-dollars to repair the damage they had done to your ranch.Owner
Then no more this forman of the South Fork shall deceive us.Go out and tell everyone he's done dead, And give title of the South Fork range to The Great MacFin.
Ross
Ok, Boss ... I'll see that it's done right away.Owner
What he hath lost ... r' Great MacFin hath won.[They All Git Out]
- 09 -
Top