-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice in Wonderland"
"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!" -- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
Here at the Pink Flamingo Lawn Croquet Association, we play International rule, 6 wicket croquet. Six wicket croquet is, of course, a twelve step program and fortunately the only twelve step program that the three main players have ever really needed. We have en'ticed' other people to the court, or greensward, if you prefer, and our main purpose is to have that most excellent game. In some situations, however, it has been necessary to play Extreme Croquet and there have been moments when we have thought all was lost. In one extreme situation we had to play by ear as it was too dark to see anything and the location of the court denied us lighting.
Our game started out with the nine wicket American backyard game until
Bob took a trip to Florida and chanced upon the United States Croquet
Association near Miami. And there is where our game took a drastic
change as we discovered an entirely different game of croquet: wicked,
fanciful and challenging: 6 wicket croquet. Which is not to be confused with
the
Immorality of Croquet:
It is not long before every honorable feeling, every dictate of morality
has been obliterated. The hoop is the gaping jaw of Hades...It is well
if the enthusiasm of the clergy and laity were enlisted
for suppressing the immoral practice of croquet.
-Living Age, 1898
As each player goes through the first hoop, as he undergoes a metamorphosis
...The male antagonist becomes a creature too vile for language, the
decency of womanhood has disappeared
by the third hoop."
Living Age, 1898
Croquet seems to have been evolved by some process of nature, as a crystal forms or a flower grows - perfect, in accordance with eternal laws.
-Newport Croquet Club rules, 1867
In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as
to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the
speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00.
There's a lot more, as
Alice discovered!
Glossary
Chamisa Mesa High School